Funny marriage and love quotes

Marriage has no guarantees. If that is what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
-- Erma Bombeck

Men only have two faults....What they do, and what they say!
-- Anonymous
Men aren't necessities, they are luxuries.
-- Cher

It is impossible to love and be wise.
-- Francis Bacon

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
-- Fulton J. Sheen

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
-- George Carlin

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
-- Joan Crawford

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
-- Joan Rivers

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
-- Katharine Hepburn

True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.
-- La Rochefoucauld

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.
-- Lily Tomlin

Love is a grave mental disease.
-- Plato

All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.
-- Shelley Winters