Here is a list of ten funny truths of life
1> If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.
2> Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
3> When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
4> If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.
Especially for Students----
5> If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
6> You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
7> The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
8> After a long wait for bus, two buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be more crowded than the other.
9> If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
10> Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
Friday, July 10, 2009
Ten funny truths of life
Funny Advertisements
Here comes the latest edition of funny ads...
The first one.. an eye-opener .. Drink or Drive
The brain which created this advertise of dental insurance must be sooooo creative.
He made a superb use of bowling alley to make this ad.
And this ad is of a karate class. A practical approach to learning.
The next Kodak camera ad brings a thought to mind ,
"What if the zoom was not invented ?"
And next one is of a skin salon
The last one and the best one... Sony Bravia
Jokes
1. Losing all your friends
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife sa ys 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'
2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,'send me a brother'....
Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'....
3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'
Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'
4. Importance of a period
Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'
Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one,
my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.'
5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad,
'What is the difference between confident and confidential? '
Dad sa ys , 'You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! '
6. Anger management?
Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you control your anger?'
Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
Husband: 'How does that help?'
Wife: 'I use your toothbrush ..'
How men change after married? (Words)
After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months: Of course, I love you.
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you?
Back from Work:
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months: I'm BACK!!
After 6 years: Have you cooked yet?
Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months: Here, it's for you.
After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!!
Cooking:
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
After 6 years: DUMPLING AGAIN??
New Dress:
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?
TV:
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months: I like this movie.
After 6 years: I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!
Making Love:
After 6 weeks: Baby, I want you tonight?
After 6 months: Lets make another baby, my mother just called!!!
After 6 years: Please MOVE over to your side, I'm suffocating here!!!!
The "Y" Generation
People born between 1925 and 1945....Are called...
The Silent Generation
People born between 1946 and 1964...Are called....
The Baby Boomers
People born between 1965 and 1982...Are called....
Generation X.
People born after 1983...Are called....
Generation Y
BUT.........Y
Why do we call the last group of people...Generation Y ?
I had no idea until I saw this caricaturist's explanation!
A picture is worth a thousand words!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Golden Words of Hitler
But when u enter dark, even your own shadow
will not follow u
that is life
God made relatives. Thank God we can choose our friends
Money glitters, beauty sparkles, and intelligence shines.
Keep a very firm grasp on reality, so you can strangle it at any time.
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're getting.
People may not always believe what you say, but they will believe what you do.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
You can't have everything - where would you put it?
Laugh and the world ignore you. Crying doesn't help either.
God is not moved or impressed with our worship until our hearts are moved and impressed by Him.
Life is like a mirror, if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.
Never trust a person who isn't having at least one crisis.
Goodness is the only investment that never fails.
The only thing lazy people do fast is get tired.
Never deprive someone of hope; it may be all they have.
Silence is the only thing that can't be misquoted!
If we don't control our money, it will control us.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich..
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
If you r living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
Minds, like parachutes, only function when they are open.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
Learn from other people's mistakes, life isn't long enough to make them all yourself.
On the road, never argue with a vehicle heavier than yours.
One thing you can give and still keep is your word.
Life is funny if you don't think about it.
Life is like a grammar lesson. You find the past perfect and the present tense.
There are two kinds of lawyers, those who know the law and those who know the judge.
More doors are opened with 'please' than with keys.
A New Jewel in Crown of Sleeping politicians and Officials
A New Jewel in Crown of Sleeping politicians and Officials
Mumbai is free but not our country.
The Hostages have been released but we are still bounded.
Same old stories, same old age drama, same dialogues "Hand of Foreign countries",
When will our politicians and officials come out of their blankets and look around. They have sheilded and immunised themselves from all this trauma.
Every Indian might have been shocked and few may have even cried to see what happened in Mumbai, but our politicians remark "BADE SHEHRON ME AISA HOTA HAI" (Mr. R.R. Patil).
Few resignations, Few changes in ministry... same old pattern, No tough decisions, No signs of tough mentality.
AREN'T LIVES OF WE PEOPLE NOT SO IMPORTANT?
Where are now Raj Thackeray, Bal Thackeray? Why don't they arm up their GANGS against terrorists, as Raj did in Anti Marathi Campaign?
Now, Is he afraid of his life?
The real thing is that government just want people to forget everything by paying Rs.25 lakhs to the family of the deceased.
Did any other blast occurred in USA after 9/11, but here in India, every month there is one or more blasts taking place from last six months.
What the hell we are?
On the other hand, the deaths of martyrs are trying to be cashed down by some politicians in upcoming elections.
Instead of suggesting measures to improve and to work upon the Intelligence, Mrs. Vasundhara Raje is busy campaigning for BJP and picturising Congress negatively.
Madamji, what was Rajasthan government doing, when a series of blasts occurred in Jaipur??
Was even a single culprit caught after that?
You just said,"We won't tolerate this" Just keep saying this.
Can't we people come up and root out these bloody politicians first and probably the situation may improve?
The need is UNITY.
We'll have to come out of our shells, Sincere Youth will have to participate in politics.
Please suggest measures
INTERESTING DEFINITIONS
A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.
Love Affairs:
Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match.
Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Father:
A banker provided by nature.
Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
12 signs when you LOVE someone
When you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang up, you still miss them even when it was just two minutes ago.
ELEVEN:
You walk really slow when you're with them.
TEN:
You feel shy whenever they're around.
NINE:
You smile when you hear their voice.
EIGHT:
When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you, you just see him/her.
SIX:
They're all you think about.
FIVE:
You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at them.
FOUR:
You would do anything for them, just to see them.
THREE:
While reading this, there was one person on your mind this whole time.
TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that person, you didn't notice number seven was missing
ONE:
You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourself.